In these ultra-modern times, weddings are a strange thing. They’re one of the few celebrations where customs that no one understands are upheld almost universally. In my own (completely unscientific) personal experience, a diverse range of couples observe traditions like choosing a wedding party, throwing the bouquet and even the (somewhat awkward) tradition of throwing the garter.
The thing is, we usually keep with these traditions without wondering why they began in the first place. There are certainly some practical reasons to choose a wedding party wisely, but how did that even become a thing? (Spoiler Alert: Probably not for the reasons you thought.)
The Modern Best Man Needs to Step Up His Bachelor Party Game
As a groom, your Best Man can be absolutely indispensable. He’s your ‘Go To Guy’ for everything from choosing a suit and planning your bachelor party to calming your nerves and providing pep talks when the stress of planning a wedding seems overwhelming.
But the origins of choosing a Best Man are less about fashion advice and personal support and more about pillaging villages and helping to abduct your bride. 😳 😬
The tradition of having a Best Man can be traced back to the Dark Ages. Back then, young Germanic Goths men had a tradition of marrying women found within a their own (often small) community. This led to an issue of young men finding few options and resorting to the pillaging of neighboring communities, kidnapping the women, bringing them home and making them a part of village in order to keep with that tradition.
Kidnapping women was, however, not exactly a one man job. So Germanic Goths would tap on the shoulder of their very best friend and ask if they could lend a hand. Back then a Best Man would be willing to not help in the abduction of his pal’s would-be bride, he’d be willing to swear it was all on the up and up. During this time, it wasn’t uncommon for a groom’s Best Man to be asked to defend the groom against the objections of “vengeful in-laws”.
Bridesmaids are Ghost Bait
The Bride’s wedding party is just as important, although for different reasons. These days, a Maid of Honor or Bridesmaid might be willing to help decorate a venue or even throw you a big weekend away at an exotic locale. But back in the day, bridal party members would be willing to sacrifice themselves to the undead. 👻
In ancient Rome, people believed evil spirits could ruin a marriage before it even began. As a result, brides would have their attendants wear matching outfits that matched that of the Bride in an effort to confuse the spirits. Back then, the bridesmaids would dress EXACTLY the same as the bride – which has evolved into the bridesmaids dressing similarly – which was meant to confuse the evil spirits.
Spread the Love – Strip Your Bride
Attending a wedding fills people with a variety of emotions – mainly hope – even if they are bittersweet. There’s something about being around young love – love unfettered by the day to day grind of mortgage payments, kids bedtimes, and If-You-Can-Put-Dirty-Clothes-NEXT-TO-the-Hamper-Why-Can’t-You-Put-Them-IN-the-Hamper.
It’s enough to bring out the Hopeful Holly in just about anyone.
With that in mind, historically a bride was seen as something of a good luck piece — literally. The ceremony would finish and as the reception kicked off, people would become increasingly interested in what the couple would be doing later. As a result, the couple would eventually be pushed into their honeymoon room quarters and while that was being done, people would rip off pieces of the bride’s ensemble. The bouquet was eventually used as a distraction – brides would throw the wedding bouquet in one direction to attract attention while they scurried away to the Honeymoon Suite.
Traditions like choosing a wedding party and throwing the bouquet have become commonplace and are now seen as wholesome feel-good touches for a modern wedding. But, as is often the case, these things are seldom what they seem. Learning the truth about these traditions shouldn’t necessarily push you to abandon them, however. After all, there’s something to be said about including a wedding tradition that makes your more conservative family members happy while giving you and your friends a private joke to smile about.
